One Thing A Lonely Soul Should Never Do

...blah. I did it. I looked through all the pictures of my dear friends who are or seem to be far far away. Indre and Marija. Higher Things. Wisdom and Eloquence. Five Pines. blah.

It seems like I lose contact with everyone. I feel like a far off speck and all my friend are slowly slipping away. It doesn't seem fair. But life isn't fair. Tough noodles, huh Anna? "Get use to it" use to be the words constantly on my tongue. Why can I just "get use to it" now?

I seem to be losing everything that is precious to me and at the same time I'm not. I still have my house, my home, my friends, my family. But yet, I am losing many friends that I hold dear.

DISTANCE! Oh, how I hate it at times. It tears away from me those friends whom I treasure. To be bound in love and friendship, only to be ripped away and watch the friendship slowly die and then fade away. And all the while I know KNOW that this will happen. I strive, I work, I hope, I pray and still it dissolves into nothing.

I begin to doubt. Doubts surround me. Uncertainty reigns. And in these moments, the only thing to do it to prostrate myself at the feet of the cross and cry out "Lord I believe! Help my unbelief!"