Musings

It's 8:24 and I'm already ready for bed. It's been completely dark for the past hour and I feel like it's ten o'clock. The time change had a greater effect on me than it has in the past. Right now I'm "staying up" so I can reset my internal clock.

I've been blessed. Good family, good friends, good church, good pastors. I realize more and more that in the past and even in the present, I have been a grumpy, argumentative, gloomy, and stubborn child. I have refused to recognize my faults, especially in the matter of my station and duty as a woman of God. I was wrong every time I refused to walk through that door, refused to sit down and all because I was too stubborn to allow a gentleman to do his duty to me.

Wow. Yeah. I was pretty awful and still can be. A special thanks to all those friends who have stuck by me and have helped me through the years.

It's amazing to me how long I can go doing something and then I look back and realize how wrong I was.


More musings:

I'm happily settled into Sarah's old bedroom. It's probably the coziest I've ever been. A week ago I finally moved all my "posters" from my old bedroom door to my current bedroom door. Unfortunately the tape that holds them up isn't sticky anymore so they keep falling down.
The room itself isn't very big, but I finally have my long desired closet. Only one bookshelf (sadness) and it's stuffed. I gave up getting a new dresser and so a low table is serving as the place of dwelling random articles such as combs, brushes and hairbands.
The "only" thing that is not quite unpacked is the box full of photos, journals, notes, sketches, and poetry I've written. I'm not sure why I keep all of it, but I don't have the heart to get rid of it.
Hug Bear, Peanut Butter, and their friends and relations are still stuffed in a box at the end of my bed. I feel a little guilty seeing all my loyal animal companions from my childhood stuffed in a box. I really need to pull them out and play with them again.
All my ribbons, paintings and picture frames are under my bed. I never knew a bed was so useful for hiding things! :)
My walls are pretty bare except for a few pictures, a couple trophies, and a small crucifix.

The best part of this room (besides getting a closet) is that it the room across from the furnace. No more cold nights and freezing mornings. My dear doctor dad finally finished the floor to the basement living room, so I use it as a relaxation area. There's a bathroom connected to my room, so I feel like I have my own little living area away from everyone. I'm blessed (...and rather happy Nat and Sarah got married. The room is FINALLY MINE!!!! MY OWN! MY PRECIOUS!!! MAAAAAHAAAHAHAAAHAAA!!!!!).


Even more musings:

As for school, my loving mother set up "cubicles" for my brothers and I to do school it. Mine, much to my happiness, has a window. It's so refreshing to have fresh air and daylight while doing homework.

I've turned into a Elle and has started to get annoyed with the dirtiness of the house. I've turned into a little busy cleaner on Saturdays and have even *SHOCK* done the dishes without being asked. (Very proud of myself). Perhaps I'm not quite as clean and tidy as Elle, but I can see improvement in my own personal habits.


...and after all those musings...I'm finally done.